FAWM: "How To Cook Humans"

How To Cook Humans

2025 by @anthonykapfer

Liner Notes

this started out as an idea called "secret sauce." i thought it would be fun to do a song that was a vague recipe that doesn't tell you any information about anything. i recorded it yesterday and then hated it.

i reevaluated it today and replaced a few lyrics. it felt like it could easily be a reference to the old twilight zone episode "to serve man." and also "soylent green." and the title comes from the simpsons referencing the twilight zone.

in place of saying "it's the secret sauce," as i did on the original recording that no one will ever hear, i put in the lines "it's people, it's a cookbook" etc.

this feels like it could potentially have a place on my space rock opera, but i'm still not sold on this song. the vocals are not done particularly well. just kind of figuring the whole thing out.

#punk #postpunk #noise

Lyrics

you need a little bit of this and then you need a little bit of that, yeah

you throw a certain kind of something into the mix and cook it up, woo!

just a touch here and a pinch there

you need a big ol’ dash of the stuff you can never have enough but

i can’t tell you i won’t tell you i can’t tell you i won’t tell YOU WHAT IT IS NOOOOOO

it's people it's a cookbook to serve man it's a cookbook

Comments

@kaminokai 2025

Great riff. Great idea. This guy (character in the song) sounds like a vegan! Very raw. Cool.

@fuzzy 2025

Whoa, straight into the hard stuff. This speeds along like a runaway train. Lovely unhinged solo there. Yet another winner here.

@heliosonorous 2025

Very intense, like a threat to divulge the secrets, got some heaviness to this track!

@nahlej381 2025

I came here looking for more specific instructions for dinner at the donner’s but I’m not mad…I’m thrilled at this punch you in the face spit down your neck raucous rock monster. How is it each track you do gets even cooler? The guitar gives me a little b-52s but if they were PISSED and hungry…for the other other white meat. Mmmmm…food. 🦶🤭

@funnypunkband 2025

Super fun—reminds me of the punkier side of The Cramps. The chaotic energy and horror-inspired theme are a perfect match.

@eamarant 2025

Great energy! A song I’m totally listening to again! Love it! Nice screaming too.

@hyssop 2025

The title drew me in, the guitar riffs made me know I was right to click! This is awesome! I personally love the vocals, they suit the song really well. The growl on the bridge "nooo" was absolutely epic and the guitar solo is perfectly chaotic. Love this!!!