Outside the polar bear enclosure Maxed out by solar exposure We were watching them get fed I was wishing I was dead I was a little hung over And it was a shame about the gopher

There was a crowd of folks observin’ The water’s bloody and a-churnin’ When suddenly a child screamed A peacock had just stole her ice cream Went running looking over its shoulder And it was a shame about the gopher

Well the parents gave chase And we all did too Wanted to see if they caught it What they were gonna do Past amphibians and raptors and even further Whole time the kid’s screaming bloody murder By now even kids down in China had heard her

The peacock flew into a tree The ice cream slipped and somehow fell on me Now I’m sticky melting in the sun And there’s no calming down the little one Didn’t think I could feel lower And it was a shame about the gopher

The fastest way to flee the scene Was the zoo train to Parking Area Green My partner said “I’m really sorry” As we passed the zebras on safari Slowly regaining my composure And it was a shame about the gopher

We climbed into our box of metal Turned the key and pressed down on the pedal I tried to get home in a jump But suddenly I hit a bump Guess I should’ve gone a little slower It was a shame about the gopher