The Great Chinese Dinner Lyrics and Music: Gary McGath, Copyright 2025

The con was over, ice and wind raged outside the hotel. We all were feeling hungry, but we all knew very well That going to a restaurant would mean traveling through hell, So we said, "Let's get food delivered here."

Refrain: We had egg rolls, beef with broccoli, and pork with herbs and spice. We had sweet and sour shrimp, a stack of moo shu with fried rice. We had Peking duck and fortune cookies, all well worth the price, At the biggest Chinese dinner of the year.

There was a hotel restaurant, but we weren't in the mood. Someone suggested Burger King, but the response was rude. And then a clever person said, "Let's order Chinese food!" Which everyone accepted with a cheer.

It wasn't far from Chinatown, and so we had a plan. We found the online menu for the House of Master Chan. Ideas on what to order came from each and every fan, And quickly we had made our choices clear.

Each fan threw down a twenty, and some tossed in even more. Price and tax and tip were covered, though no one was keeping score. But we only saw the truth when all the food came through the door, And as we stacked it up, we said, "Oh, dear!"

There were only fourteen of us, but we'd food for forty-eight. And maybe more, if some of us had less than one full plate. We knew that this was not a day that we'd be losing weight, Even though we hadn't ordered beer.

What could we do with all this food? We went into the hall And called to other stragglers, "Come in to eat! Come all!" We soon had an impromptu banquet. Yes, we had a ball, And soon we made the whole pile disappear!