Sounds like you have the hook for now to build up around. Starting with the hook, then figure out how you get there in the story. Bless you, allergy season starts early. Melody is nice.

this is the way a song (sometimes) begins. sneezing, clanking, a hook, substitute words

Hope you have figured a way to finish this into a song. It's a great seed, and the tone and way of your delivery, even in this sketch, helped me hear what I think could be a powerful statement or story.

You have to seed of a good song here. I'd be interested in hearing what you make of it.

It’s all yours if you’d like it @roundahouse That would be great.

Do you already have someone working on gospel piano for this? (or a cappella singing Gm, Dm, F)

The sneezes, maybe the first time I’ve heard one in a FAWM song 😆 they were nice punctuation to the encouragement in the lyrics. I could hear this developing further, yes maybe gospel or country?

This melody is catchy. I sometimes sing like this in my phone when I get an idea of I figure it will help me remember later when I finally grab a guitar and start typing more lyrics. I think this one has strong potential, either as simple repetitions with various adjectives, or even making the “You can do this” as a chorus answer to some not-yet-written verses that pose a problem for the hero of the story who needs to hear that chorus. Tons of potential here.

Oooo perfect gospel hymn quality- I also really appreciate the authentic sneezes!