FAWM: "The Monkey"

The Monkey

2025 by @edwinb

Liner Notes

Unless they're extremely lucky, every artist has to have a day job to pay the bills, no matter how hard they work at their craft. So I wondered what would happen to that infinite monkey who did manage to type out Hamlet. They'd probably have some tedious clerical job at a government agency like the DVLA (that's the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency, for non-Brits).

A #silly #ukulele #nerdfolk song to get going, recorded straight to laptop. #fuc

As usual, I have no idea if this makes any sense, but I did steal the concept from one of the lyrics in Dan Bern's "True Revolutionaries".

Lyrics

Working at his craft Discarding draft after draft He knew that he could make it If he put in the graft

It surely would be tough To bring it up to snuff The haters didn't rate him But infinite tries could be enough

So he'd strive to reach his target And he'd show up at his desk every day He was the monkey who typed out Hamlet But now he's working for the DVLA

They said that his success Was a stroke of luck at best And he never would repeat it It was just a lucky guess

So now that's his reward On customer support He'll type out one more licence While he sits, depressed and bored

But he tolerates his day job While working on his next big play He was the monkey who typed out Hamlet Now he's working for the DVLA

Updates a registration Scrolls down to the second page Opposable thumbs at the keyboard But his mind is on the stage

So he tolerates his day job While working on his next big play He was the monkey who typed out Hamlet Now he's working for the DVLA

Comments

@kadmad202 2025

Well, this is fun! I love your completely serious delivery, as well as your utterly delightful lyrics. Thanks for the smile!

@berni1954 2025

Like so much of your stuff, this but a broad grin on my face. ,👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼😉

@rocketgrrrl 2025

Clever and fun concept, and sadly so relatable. Catchy and enjoyable performance as well. I really love his optimism at the end, already working on the next one. We should all hope to do so well.

@coolparadisoMod 2025

tis true, a bit like waiter actors! nice clean uke. good story poignant and a touch of humour

@oaksnprairie 2025

I love the concept! Although it worries me that perhaps I am also a monkey typing furiously as I try to write songs. You’ve also got some lovely variation in the ukulele backing.

@janeg 2025

Hard to improve. On Marilisa’s “utterly daft, in the best possible way” as a comment. And utterly Edwin. I so look forward to your new songs, where I am guaranteed to laugh out loud and/or learn something interesting I would otherwise never have known.

@gwynjones 2025

So witty and well delivered!

@gmcgath 2025

Next license number: 2BR!2B

@alphagal 2025

Fucking brilliant! I love it so much.

@billwhite51 2025

nobody but you could write a song about the monkey who typed out hamlet without batting an eye or getting his tongue caught in his cheek. this monkey is no longer confined to the law of impractical averages, but has found his place as a folk hero in the annals of folk music.

@philkmills 2025

This is a fine song, but it also makes me wonder whether you've uncovered the secret to governmental delays: the monkeys type things at random until they eventually create what you need. 😀