Shark Attack
by @jeremykazoo
Liner Notes
Inspired to include some clapping in a song by @rowankingsbury, and a conversation with my daughter when she was very young. My first submission with my kazoo!
Lyrics
If there's one thing I never worry about It's a shark attack on my street They might be endangered but they've never endangered me. They wander the ocean basins but ours is dry and arid My safety assured by the complete lack of hammerheads
no man eating shark is out to get me. They just don't live long on the prairie.
Even if there was water, the -40 would do them no good Completely cold blooded they'd get no help from a coat and a hood They can smell a drop of blood in water the size of Calgary But with zero humidity they ain't smelling The Shining
no man eating shark is out to get me They don't last long on the prairie
15 million years since we had an ocean man It was the massive megalodon that was swimming around back then But those seas all dried up and left a plain behind Pretty sure I could out run him even if I had my feet tied.
Apex predator Not in this weather Solitary hunter But not on these dirt roads
Comments
![[avatar]](https://fawm-avatars.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com/fawm2023/31217.png){kind=avatar}
My safety is assured by the complete lack of hammerheads – I love that line. But there are so many clever ones. And of course, there’s a kazoo, which is a delightful addition.
![[avatar]](https://fawm-avatars.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com/fawm2023/6904.png){kind=avatar}
What I like about this is how it kinda, KINDA seems like it might be about something else, but NO it's actually about the safety of being landlocked, haha
The start and stop of the clapping is also fun. So fun and funny with a soulful kazoo. Well done.
Favorite line: "15 million years since we had an ocean man"
![[avatar]](https://fawm-avatars.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com/fawm2025/ba7dfbe9-9df1-443a-babc-5e14dfde0158.png){kind=avatar}
Crazy kazoo!! This is so fun!! Such passion in the hand claps! I smiled all the way through!
![[avatar]](https://fawm-avatars.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com/fawm2023/15318.png){kind=avatar}
Fun write! Weaving in the megalodon put a smile on face, made wider by the kazoo.
![[avatar]](/static/img/avatars/animals/08.png){kind=avatar}
👏👏👏 making me want a kazoo...
![[avatar]](https://fawm-avatars.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com/fawm2025/98567bcc-def0-4ebd-806e-1c653b80888e.png){kind=avatar}
I love this ! Finally! Someone has exposed the anti-shark establishment and their hateful lies about sharks! This is a very clever write highlighting all the reasons we (mostly) have no reason to fear sharks! I love the comparison of a drop of blood in the ocean to The Shining! Oh, and, I enjoyed that kazoo awesomeness at the end!
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Clapping and kazoo are going on my FAWM 2026 planner. I hope your daughter appreciates that you took the concerns of her younger self to heart. Great job