Halbarad Needle Nails
by @tasia
Liner Notes
My songs tend to be #story based #filk and currently I'm doing a #cat theme. I'm a #singersongwriter who #needsmusic written to go with my #lyrics. #collaborationswelcome and I welcome #needsvocals collaborations if someone would like to sing any of my songs.
Backstory to this song: We got Halbarad when our house suddenly needed an alpha cat. Arya Thief of Hearts had died at seven months, which left all of us with broken hearts. Arya was the little boss kitten half the size of her littermate Tyrion Four Thumbs. We needed a new alpha cat for my depressed beta kitten who did not like being an only cat. I contacted several rescue places. When I told them my only condition was that the cat had to let me trim his nails, they said I was ideal for the cat I had tentatively picked as he needed an indoor only home with no dogs as they had spent so much money on the vet for him. My being a person who would trim his nails myself was exactly the home they were looking for him. I should have known there was a reason they said I was perfect.
Lyrics
The only condition for your living here, Was you letting me trim your nails. It was difficult that first time, Yet you managed it and you were in.
We changed your name to Halbarad, To be our alpha cat, To Tyrion Four Thumbs, For he was a depressed kitten. I should have added Needle Nails to your name.
Now you’re Halbarad Needle Nails, Since we know about your super power, To grow your claws so thin. You need pedicures twice monthly, Those claws of yours grow so quickly.
As long as someone pets you, You will deign to allow your pedicure. You need your nails trimmed that often, Or you hang up on things accidentally. Please pet Halbarad Needle Nails, For it’s another pedicure day.
You delight in sharpening your needle nails, On an innocent cardboard clawing pad. You never used the wooden mushroom, All my previous cats used for sharpening. Is this why you have such delightful needle nails?
Over the years you have taken over our household, Becoming our house’s deity. All hail Hal, all hail Hal, Halbarad Needle Nails.
Halbard you teach your core belief, All humans are here to pet you! All hail Hal, all hail Hal, Halbarad Needle Nails.
My friends have become your minions. Anyone who comes over must pet you. All hail Hal, all hail Hal, Halbarad Needle Nails, The cat who must be petted!
Copyright ©2025 (2/6/2025 - finally finished)
Comments
![[avatar]](https://fawm-avatars.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com/fawm2023/31217.png){kind=avatar}
A delightful story and quite some character building. I really like the hailing of your cat. And needle nails is a really good song hook
![[avatar]](/static/img/avatars/animals/12.png){kind=avatar}
I have recorded a demo. I'll post it once my husband edits it for sound quality. IF I ever figure out how to get onto bandcamp successfully.
![[FAWM]](/static/img/slothcore.svg)
![[avatar]](https://fawm-avatars.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com/fawm2024/e0cb5d99-fae3-4833-a688-0217f210afe9.png){kind=avatar}
![[avatar]](https://fawm-avatars.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com/fawm2026/b23894a9-78c3-44e9-8aff-b88e60fd465a.png){kind=avatar}
Recent Discussions
How to contact a FAWMling, or at least keep listening to their songs?
10 comments
Initiating hibernation sequence...
9 comments
A is for ABBA - Fake band edition
1351 comments
Help / Collab Guidelines / Skirmishes / Donate / Terms of Service / Privacy / Copyright / AI Statement
© 2025 FAWM, LLC.
Made with in PGH / PDX / MIA.
All lyrics & song content remain © the fawmers who wrote them. See terms of
service!
Song date had to change as practicing singing it as the lyrics changed the lyrics changed and evolved, again. I might have a voice version to post soon.