My Weapon of Healing
by @nwhosings
Liner Notes
This song is very important to me. Forgiveness is a fraught topic for me. I grew up in Fundamentalist Christianity and forgiveness was one of those theological topics that was taught to benefit the people in power, not the other way around. I cut contact with my parents four years ago and while it has made my life infinitely better, it hasn’t been without its own struggles. One of which is how to feel about forgiveness. I don’t want to hold onto anger, grudges, but neither do I want to leave those roads of connection open. I needed to make forgiveness a sword. Something to sever and cleanse without adding to the wounds. Musically, I had no ideas, until I started playing major chords. Suddenly I felt like I was playing worship songs, and everything started to flow. Recording-wise, this song took me so many takes. Even with the one I’m putting up I can hear the hesitation in my voice, the false notes before I find the center. We sing who we are, and who I am both needs to sing and post this, and I find it a bit scary. So to quote Adele, please go easy on me. #deconstruction #exvangelical #forgiveness #songspells #personwithpiano #singersongwriter
Lyrics
I owe you nothing There’s no roads between The path that is me and the path that is you Our circles don’t meet
Icicles hanging Toothed cold in the night So cold to the touch that it feels like a flame’s Set you alight
I draw my sword, Folded steel forged, In the fires of denial Each personal trial I’ve fought my way through I forgive you
We’re not connected Those tendrils have died Our garden has withered, blackened and shivered My tears have all dried
Water is stronger, Feeds as well as remembers There’s no gas to light here, I’ve left all my fright here Wrapped ‘round your treasures
I draw my sword Folded steel forged In the fires of loneliness I won’t measure up, I guess I never cared to, I, I forgive you
I draw my sword Folded steel forged In the fires of denial Each personal trial I’ve fought my way through I forgive you I forgive you
Comments
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Wow wow wow this is absolutely beautiful ❤️it’s heartbreaking but the major chords start to heal it at the same time. You use a few melodic devices that are really effective, the little run down on the end of some lines like “alight”, and the powerful run up to a gentle “I forgive you”. Forgiveness is a sword is such a good metaphor. You may hear hesitation but your voice is absolutely on show here, the range power and control are all really impressive. Beautiful song x
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You got such a powerful voice! So beautiful! I love the lyrics- mostly the lines: Water is stronger, Feeds as well as remembers There’s no gas to light here, I’ve left all my fright here
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I was raised Christian but not Evangelical, even so, there's much for me to relate to in your stirring, stirling lyrics - the line about there being no roads between your paths, and the denial, personal trial. Really powerful and glad you have it in you to forgive.
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A beautiful and powerful song. I can resonate with this experience as I ran away from home over 10 years ago and left my religion and family. Forgiveness is hard and it takes time.
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Strength to your sword arm. This is gorgeous and heartfelt singing and playing, with vivid imagery. I have always found it difficult to cut people out of my life unless the bond fell away naturally over time. But I think it would take a lot of courage to do that when it really needs to happen. Thanks for being brave enough to post this.
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Good all the way through, but I especially like the ending that seems to go from exultation to calm and confident .
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A clean severing of a connection can be the best thing in the world to allow healing, and to allow the release of all that negative stuff that forgiveness is alleged to magically accomplish. But if you're still bound to a person that harmed you and who has not changed, you can't let go of all that, because those feelings are there to remind you to protect yourself. I love your image of a Sword of Healing to do that severing.
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I love the concept here! And the execution is also just right, it makes sense that this would've been a hard one to sing, but your authenticity and vulnerability in sharing it are a gift. 💜
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Wow, this is strong. I can relate so much... told as a young child that if I didn't 'forgive' the person who abused me that I was just as guilty or even more guilty than they were. So this hit hard, but in such a healing way. I love the reframing, the reclaiming of your power. "There's no gas to light here" wow yes!!! Your voice absolutely sores. Taking that worship song style and making it your own is really poignant here. Thank you for facing the fear and sharing this because I, for one, needed to hear it. 💙