i threw all the photos of us in the bin you walk past, don’t look back, you don’t ask how i’ve been i know that you’re fine, its for the best but i can’t tell myself that when my body protests to your very presence in this very room your shadow lies shattered still fettered in gloom and i know it’s all futile, i’ll be alright but i’ve got right to mourn you, i just hope you don’t mind

i have to pretend i never knew you when i know you inside out i have to pretend i don’t want to scream if you don’t make a sound i have to act like this is what i wanted, act like i’m happier now i have to act like you are something i could ever live without

i hate every single moment of the time we spend apart knowing it will be unending twists the knife within my heart my body, soul, my ribcage, the aching doesn’t cease i can find so many lovers but i can’t ever find peace because you were my composure, my calm before the storm you were everything i wanted but i can’t want it anymore you knocked me off my feet with an accidental push i didn’t want to lose you, oh God, what have i done?

now whenever we talk, it’s small i think it would be better if we didn’t speak at all but i can’t say that, can’t admit i’ve lost this war that we’ve waged comes with much too high odds they’re not in our favour, they never were neither of us can win, we just both end up hurt i’ll stand my ground, i’ll put up a fight it will still always be you at the end of the night

i hate every single moment of the time we spend apart knowing it will be unending twists the knife within my heart my body, soul, my ribcage, the aching doesn’t cease i can find so many lovers but i can’t ever find peace because you were my composure, my calm before the storm you were everything i wanted but i can’t want it anymore you knocked me off my feet with an accidental push i didn’t want to lose you, oh

what have i done looking back on it all i’ll admit i messed up oh, what did i do after all of that i still couldn’t keep you and how do i cope when the worst thing was best for us both and what have i done i’ve let go of the only thing i’ve ever loved what have i done