More Space for Losing
by @jinx
Liner Notes
As the month progresses, I'm increasingly flying by the seat of my pants. This character came to me fully formed, like Athena springing from the head of Zeus, and I was so chilled by his story that I had to make it a song.
Wrote a verse and chorus as lyrics, came up with a tune and chords to fit them, tried singing and playing through it once. Then, while making myself a cup of tea, I came up with a few more lines. Rushed back to my desk and scribbled them down as the second half of the song... and proceeded to hit "record" on my phone voice memo app and record the whole thing before I'd ever even sung through half the song!
Didn't know if the lyrics would fit, didn't even really know what melody I wanted to sing, I just "pantsed" it all. The last few chords were an improvisation too. I'm amazed, usually my spontaneity does not turn out this well.
I visualize this being a kind of dark slow 80s industrial-rock vibe. I'm very far from being able to make any sounds remotely like that myself, but that's the dream.
#AcousticOneTake #AltRock #NotesFromTheUnderworld #Rock #AltCountry
Lyrics
My little boy is sleeping in the car I hope he doesn’t wake up from his dream I couldn’t stand for him to see this happening See what Daddy’s got to do for him
If I could breathe in pure stardust To make me stronger than this other man Would I do it, even if it meant I could never get back to wholly human?
Around me there’s only space More space for losing I see only space More space for losing
I could stop and park and sleep a while But the cold would come creeping in So I stay awake, mile after mile after mile Let him keep dreaming, as long as he can
When the night falls like a benediction And rots the fruit of what I did today I close my eyes and drink the draught of Lethe Crawl into her arms and try to pray
Move along there, make space More space for losing Send word down the line We’re losing I think we’re losing
Comments
Wow - what a way to capture the honour and pain that is parenthood.
If I could breathe in pure stardust .... dammit !!! what a line!!
I love it when a song (or character) appears from the ethers and you write/create something you normally wouldn't.
Very powerful chorus. I felt like I went on a journey with this one.
This hits hard. Feels like I'm driving through the night. "More space for losing" resonates DEEPLY.
Your voice is so powerful - perfect for the picture you're painting here. I like how the melody in the verse stays tense but subdued - then is set free when the chorus comes. It's a voice that cannot be ignored at the moment in the song when it needs to be heard.
lol. Very cool “pantsing”… the narrative here is haunting, and the power of your voice adds to the overwhelming sense of sorrow here. I love it! … “when the night fallls like a benediction and rots the fruit of what I did today” is such a a great line.
The lyrics paint a powerful and sad picture here, and the performance is great. Amazing that it was so spontaneous. I really enjoyed it.
Wow, I am so impressed that this was in your “fly by the seat of your pants” category because it’s just so good! Your vocals and the lyrical pictures, wow!
These lyrics are powerful! Good you decided for asparae arrangement, really gives some room
What a wonderful write and storytelling. Love the chorus, so emotional. I was just captivated!
Man. Powerful, dark, melancholic and some horror. Wonderfull. Massive song. Loss of words.
Haunting. Beautiful. Great, raw work.
Wow. Some powerful lyrics here. And the guitar playing and singing reminded me a bit of Neil Young: the power that can come from austerity. Really cool stuff. Great work!
Almost hypnotic in pace and with a dreamlike quality to the narrative. It's quite artfully written and the tragedy of it just rips your heart out. A real powerhouse lyric.
Powerful and beautiful. As it is. It might be interesting to hear it as electric too but really works like this. Maybe stronger like this.
Beautiful lyric and great melody. Love the 2nd last verse. This was a great spontaneous write. I find good songs often come in a burst like this. Great work!
Wow!! Amazing imagery and storytelling (well, you start in the middle of the story - we can only guess at the beginning and the end…) Haunting and quite chilling as well. Impressive pantsing!
Stark imagery and enough pieces of the story to keep the listener on edge.
Laser light show 5000! Mythical and mystical
Oh wow, this is some powerful storytelling! You paint a really evocative picture. Way to lean into the "pantsing" of it all, it worked really well!
Great title -- it brought me here. Love the fresh lyrics: "If I could breathe in pure stardust"; "rots the fruit of what I did today." The mythological reference supports the seriousness of the song. And serious it is: chilling, desperate, almost hopeless. There's real power here.