This was made for the skirmish hosted by ally_nicole! Two skirmishes done in one day, what fun!

The prompt hits very close to home for me. I'm type 1 bipolar and before I was diagnosed, I had horrible anxiety and insomnia whenever I'd be in an episode. I didn't have the proper words for what was ailing me so I wasn't diagnosed until I was 17. I had my worst depressive episode when I was 16, wherein I had 24/7 insomnia for two weeks. I wouldn't be able to name what was wrong with me until a year later during my first major manic episode. I've been to mental hospitals three times now and have rotated in and out of meds. So far, me and lithium have been riding strong for 8 years.

I owe the title of this one to the memoir An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness by Kay Redfield Jamison. The book is about Jamison's struggle with bipolar disorder with a lot of emphasis on lithium in the treatment of the illness. It's something I recommend everyone to read.

I'm pretty open about my struggles with my mental health, maybe even to my own detriment. I have had people who refuse to talk to me when they learn of my diagnosis and assume everything about me before even attempting to talking to me. Never mind the fact that I'm medicated and in therapy, never mind I've never gotten violent outside of self defense, nevermind I mask so well everyone I meet is surprised to learn I'm mentally ill. Although the ableism hurts, people that judge that way are better off not in my life.

If you're having symptoms of a mental disorder, don't keep it to yourself. Get help as soon as you're able. You aren't alone and don't let anyone try to diminish you or brush you off.

I picked Helm back up again, god I love Helm. Can't believe it's donationware. Decided to be easy on myself and didn't write lyrics for this one. It's meant to sound like it was lifted from a dream. Rest easy, my unquiet mind.

#electronic #short #loops #instrumental #skirmish