Cardboard Boxes
by @kc_
Skirmish: Cardboard Boxes (@robinleaf)Liner Notes
#needscollab #needsmusic Saw the prompt and the first line came instantly... last line of chorus is pretty clunky...
Lyrics
V I Just a castle of cardboard boxes A keep that crumples in the rain Corrugation between the sheets Doesn’t stand up to that much pain
A little putty and a little paint Turns a sponge into a stone Tromp-l’oeil fakes, find out it ain’t Left undefended and alone
C Cardboard boxes Paper foxes Oxes from balloons Again forclosed on Left forlorn and Our house’s bound for the bailer soon
V II Cardboard boxes can break the breeze As a second roof, shed the rain Don’t keep us warm but stops the freeze My castle is your bain
between the sheets, corrugation even one flat can help find sheep That small separation a celebration What’s needed to fall asleep
C Cardboard boxes Paper foxes Oxes from balloons Again forclosed on Left forlorn and Our house’s bound for the bailer soon
Outro But this detritus, irks the best of us Community action can be so fun With rakes and shovels, trucks and tailers The clean-up has begun Fold up the hovels, off to the bailers The clean-up has begun
Comments
Oooh, I like this one. I am a sucker for a cardboard box - always have been. I still have not forgiven my mother for throwing away (when I was 15 and out of the country) the Barbie house I'd built from 6 cardboard moving boxes when I was 9. And my son once slept for a week in a house built from cardboard that he and his younger sister assembled. Guess it's in the blood.
I really like the ambiguousness of your lyric. Love the various imagery. I couldn't decide if this was about homelessness, or simply a house made of cardboard, or something completely different.
The first stanza is so good I could eat it, especially "A keep that crumples in the rain." Ugh, I'm jealous. 😛 This is such an interesting take on the prompt and I was sad to see that the cardboard house was taken away. With all of your talk of decorating it was bringing back memories of making community theater sets... Specifically making castle walls for Shrek the musical haha (I was the dragon).
Oof, yes! I FELT this--just tryimg to get some separation from the elements in order to get some sleep, trying some tricks to make it more sturdy, only for the city to "clean it up " and leave you at square one again. Important story to tell!!
Oh, this is great! I want to move in instantly! Great images in the chorus! And I got so sad in the end when the clean-up came... Awesome Skirmish!
Some very strong images painted in these lyrics. Good skirmishing
Great first verse. I'm not sure the last line of the chorus is a clunky as you say. It certainly paints a picture.
Wow! Pretty powerful and so many vivid images!
Strong visuals for this story, and a strong point about differing points of view.
I was especially drawn to this title as I supervisor the local MRF (and we bale tons (literally) of OCC/cardboard.) I love the shelter from the wind images and feelings. I agree with Nancy, this is good.