It was always more fun in the movies The villain was shiny and groovy Had world leaders eatin from the palm of his hands Had crazy hair, and even crazier plans Now everything is getting scary Let’s go back to when that guy was imaginary Cuz I don’t want to live in a world Run by a comic book villain

A sycophant surrounded by sycophants Pumping AI everything and brain implants Drives a hazardous car that looks like it came Out of a 64-bit video game Everything he touches turns really shoddy An emotional child in an old man’s body And I…

Now let’s see, the five main characteristics of a villain archetype…

Compelling - thinks he’s gonna win the fight Ideological - unwavering and very (far) right Intelligent - he learned to be a billionaire ??? Tragic Backstory - apartheid, let’s stop right there Threatening - the Constitution can attest Oh god oh god I can’t read the rest

Now a lot of villains in the comic books They do evil deeds, they’ve got evil looks They change the established order of things They cripple governments, make presidents kings But I’d still take a comic bad guy any day Because at least in the pages is where they stay