FAWM: "The Antisocial Parasocialist"

The Antisocial Parasocialist

2025 by @mikedebenham

Liner Notes

Apparently the word 'parasocial' has been around since the 1950s, but I didn't hear it until a few years ago. It's when 'viewers or listeners come to consider media personalities as friends, despite having no or limited interactions with them'. (Thanks Wikipedia.) I guess it's more common in the internet age, with artists like Taylor Swift actively encouraging it via social media etc.

I'm lazy enough at keeping up with my real friends, so pretending I have famous ones sounds like work, but I guess I can understand where the parasocial thing comes from. I remember how, back in the dark days of Covid when I couldn't see my friends for a couple of years, I found myself leaning on a couple of podcasts to help fill the social hole, and ended up feeling very friendly towards these people I've never met. Even here on FAWM there are people I think of as friends and have huge good will towards, just from enjoying their music over the years. It feels pretty benign at this level... but that's exactly what someone in a parasocial relationship would say. Leave my good friend Taylor alone, you monsters.

#song

Lyrics

if i met you on the street i'd be surprised 'cause you don't live 'round here but if i met you on the street i'd probably just walk by or i'd say hi and give a nod that would convey how much i like you in a boundary-respecting kind of way

now is it weird that i consider you my friend? and is it weird that i sometimes pretend that maybe you've popped round for tea and we both have a reasonably good time? let me know if i'm crossing a line

i'll probably never meet you but i feel i really know you yes i'm sounding like a stalker but i promise you it's fine i'm just trying to let you know that you've been such a help to me but i don't want to take up any of your time

now is it weird that i consider you my friend? and is it weird that this weekend i will spend a rather large amount of time constructing clever anagrams out of your name let me know if i'm crossing a line

you're quite antisocial, so am i we should get together and talk about it you're no fan of small talk, nor am i we should get together and talk about it woohoo

you don't know me from a bar of soap but you can borrow mine

now is it weird that i consider you my friend? and is it weird that this evening i intend to draw your face on a balloon so you can watch me as i sleep and dream of you? let me know if i'm crossing a line

Comments

@frenchcricket 2025

This is so witty and clever, and charming. I loved it. As an autistic woman I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about relationships and trying to figure out where I stand with people. It's so messy. So I can totally understand how people can become unstuck with this sort of thing. But yes, I found this delightful. I wish I had a greek chorus of 'yes it's weird' harmonies in my head telling me when things aren't quite right. That said, I'm happy for anybody to anagramise my name. That's a blanket permission you can take to the bank, Mike!

@kembole 2025

What a great idea to write a song about. Love how you use "weird" chords to bring a bit wonky feel to the lines like: "crossing a line" You've done such nice works of bringing the lyrics alive with small little things.

@crisp1 2025

The chorus is hysterical with those answering vocals but really the whole thing had me smiling from start to finish. Super clever lyrically and the music is a perfect match.

@lcad 2025

Ooh, love the arrangements and suprise little harmonies in this one. Feels warm and just slightly creepy. Great take on this subject--sincerely, your parasocial friend.

@wynia 2025

I’ve met a few internet friends in real life and it’s been lovely…of course I don’t know if the same would be true of a podcaster when there’s a one way relationship going on there. Totally resonate with these lyrics! I really enjoyed some of the chord twists and little extra instrumentation!

@bradbrubaker 2025

Good spare use of extra instrumentation and back-up vocals. The balloon line at the end is real damn weird, haha

@oddbod 2025

I love me a jaunty whimsical song from you. Lifts the weary heart a little. We never did have that 3 way video chat along with Phil.

@coolparadisoMod 2025

This is very Mike style to my ear, reminds me a bit Of the lucksmiths in its conversational style. Very catchy number and a really interesting topic, reckon if they have not someone will write a thesis on it! Not the song. Ha ha the topic! It is very catchy!

@beacon 2025

Fantastic writing here, and I love the little theramin and other sounds you've added in here. Vocals and guitar are as always on target. This is such an amazing subject for a song.

@deena 2025

Yes, it’s weird and it’s true! I love those background vocals!! Even weirder is when you see a real friend in real life and they expect that you are up to date with what’s going on in their lives because they’ve posted it on social media!

@theawkwardsleep 2025

Ha! I cannot love this more. The lyrics and vocal are fantastic. It is so relatable! Love the simple catchy chorus. And the “it’s pretty weird” harmonies really accentuate it perfectly. Cracks me up! Great bop -ru

@adforperu 2025

Ahh, this is a subject I had planned to tackle this FAWM, you've nailed it here. Big fan of that strumming pattern, and the progression. The stylophone (?) solo is great, it's almost like a dentists drill.