A is for acrostic, which technically is not this But B beware it’s something so much worse.

So… A is for the animals you bring back and then nurse (a pet worm?) B then is the bigness of your heart C for cardiomegaly, also bigness, also heart D the Diet Coke you gulp as if… you’d… starve… (from thirst?)

E enough you’ll find yourself saying as we go F the final verse, you fear is oh… so… far… so… G is for the thinG you’ve Gotten into pressinG play H is how much of your life, dear, we’re here wasting And I, I, I don’t care

H is for my grocery list, I just remembered hummus
Did I say H already, oh no, we’re going backwards J is for the jerk you think that I’ve become sometimes K means that’s ok, I think that too

L is for the leeches that haunt your waking dreams And M is for my mom in case she’s listening

N and O two letters that sum up your feelings now P it might be time to take a break Q you can’t quit now we’re almost through R you for real, I really am eSpecially since so many songs seem so serious, so sad, this is not one

T for me, actually, it’s my new hobby And U can join me for a cuppa if you please V is half of W, why isn’t it called U (or W called double V) I’m sure it’s a conspiracy

I like to think of V and W as best friends Or neighbors in a duplex, I digress Unless they’ve become X friends, ho hum Y? well that’s another tale of alphabetic malice for another time (time‘s a wasting)

And so that brings us to Thanking goodness, must be you Our time is running out And so is this exercise of doubtful merit and dubiousness

So before I go I’m not content To leave without A closing comment

A zagging for your zig A swizzle for your drink Gorgonzola for your fig A little razzle dazzle

A fizzle (not a splash) From the mezzanine Just before you dash… One last alpha-mezzo-wizardry Zeeeeeee end.

Maybe.

Alpha is for ox, the Phoenician letter aleph The predator that takes no prisoners Beta is the second half, of alphabet, I bet you knew that Gamma’s next in line and high in ra-di-a-tors…

Delta is the triangle, the shape of silt to sea It also names an airline I hesitate to recommend Epsilon is next, though quite petite And Zeta should be last, but it’s not, alas, omega…

Eta theta iota, go pledge a sorority Kappa lambda mu and nu and xi...