FAWM: "Organize Your Riot (purely 100% a joke)"

Organize Your Riot (purely 100% a joke)

2025 by @heid

NSFW

Liner Notes

Last year in Portland, I saw some graffitti that said "Fuck your craft market! Make pride a riot again" and thought to myself... "how limp. if you want a riot, don't cry out for someone to make one. If you want a riot, you've gotta make one!"

So I took up an old union song ("You've gotta go down and join the union") and penned the first two verses to this song, and then let it sit and gather dust and didn't think about it until now. Then, yesterday, I had a sudden stroke of inspiration to write a few more verses.

I must be honest: I have neither organized nor participated in a riot. This is purely me taking advice I have read and heard from those who have, and packaging it into a catchy information distribution method! I do not condone violence and am joking about all of this.

#folk #oldfolk #union #folkpunk

Lyrics

You've got to organize your riot You've got to plan it with your friends Ain't nobody here gonna plan it for you You've got to organize your riot with your friends

You've got to choose a good location You've got to know how you'll escape Think about the route from the police station You've got to choose a good location for escape

You've got to plan away from cell phones And other things with microphones Don't just turn it off, but leave it at home You've got to plan your riot away from microphones

(Instrumental)

You've got to get a plain looking backpack You've got to get it secondhand Don't get it online, cuz they can track that You've got to get all of your black bloc secondhand

You've gotta obscure identifying features You've gotta do it very well Watch out for eyebrows, tattoos, glasses, and sneakers You've gotta obscure identifying features very well.

(Instrumental)

You've got to organize your riot You've got to plan it with your friends Ain't nobody here gonna plan it for you You've got to organize your riot with your friends!

This is a joke.

Comments

@becooljanele 2025

That chorus is brilliant. Love that you combine the first two lines in your last lines, neat stuff. May be a joke song, but it’s a banger! I’d sing this with my friends for sure!

@freshspotlessyouth 2025

This is fun and rousing. I think some folks might actually take this as a call to action. Anyway, great performance(s) and funny lyrics. I remember being down at the protests at the federal courthouse thinking how the whole thing had a kabuki theater quality to it on both sides, the feds and the black bloc. You could sit back and watch the mounting action, knowing that tear gas was going to arrive on cue :)

@gmcgath 2025

I can imagine some amateur rioters following all this advice carefully — and then getting arrested before they start because half the people in their group are informants. Anyone able to organize a competent riot wouldn't need this song, so don't feel worried.